I've been watching too much MacGyver, so thought I'd share a personals posted on his behalf. I've been getting a surprising amount of interest... but hey... it is MacGyver.
"Must Love Duct Tape"
Well-educated world traveler seeks SWF for companionship and more.
I look good in khakis and a henley, a stolen jumpsuit, or tux.
Provided with duct tape, lint shavings and a tube of toothpaste I can blow up anything- but probably, I'll just blow your mind.
If this is your ideal evening, then we're a match:
1. you, me, virgin bloody mary.
2. a walk through an obviously seedy area until we're captured.
3. after we're gagged and beaten, I'll crack a witty one liner- you'll fall in love.
4. I'll escape by burning through the ropes using a small magnesium torch constructed from your hair clip, the unique, highly flammable varnish on our chairs, my steel toed boots and eroding mortar scraped from the wall next to us.
5. While you distract the only guard with us, I'll find a very tall object to leap from (this may take a while, please feather your hair for extra distraction value). Obviously, I'll leap from said object and disarm the guard with flair- but this will result in only minor injuries to him.
6. When you ask "seriously, where the fuck were you?!! He was going to kill me!" I'll deliver a retort like... "oh just you knew I'd drop in eventually..."
As before, you'll fall in love.
7. To break out of the enclosure/underground fortress I will disassemble the guard's gun and use the firing spring and gun powder from its bullets, along with your empty lipstick tube a dollar bill combined with rust I scraped off a nail to blow off the door hinges.
8. When you say "You could have just shot the god damned lock, now we're dead for sure" I'll say "I just thought I'd try to get more bang for my buck". While you've already fallen in love with me twice, the third time is said to be a charm.
9. Instead of running up the back stairs into a room full of guards playing ma jong or poker (depending on the continent and culture we're ridiculing this episode) I'll unscrew the water main that happens to be located in the basement, flooding it until we both float up fifteen feet and can escape through a ground level grated window (once again, we'll use the torch).
Some Bonuses:
-I love discussing current events and giving anecdotes garnered from my folksy background.
-I talk about mom and dad a lot... but no I don't live with them.
-I live in an observatory. Yeah. Or an apartment on the beach.
-I beat Steven Hawking at chess 11 out of 12 times. I threw the last game.
-I won't have to leave a razor at your house, I'll just use duct tape.
I look good in khakis and a henley, a stolen jumpsuit, or tux.
Provided with duct tape, lint shavings and a tube of toothpaste I can blow up anything- but probably, I'll just blow your mind.
If this is your ideal evening, then we're a match:
1. you, me, virgin bloody mary.
2. a walk through an obviously seedy area until we're captured.
3. after we're gagged and beaten, I'll crack a witty one liner- you'll fall in love.
4. I'll escape by burning through the ropes using a small magnesium torch constructed from your hair clip, the unique, highly flammable varnish on our chairs, my steel toed boots and eroding mortar scraped from the wall next to us.
5. While you distract the only guard with us, I'll find a very tall object to leap from (this may take a while, please feather your hair for extra distraction value). Obviously, I'll leap from said object and disarm the guard with flair- but this will result in only minor injuries to him.
6. When you ask "seriously, where the fuck were you?!! He was going to kill me!" I'll deliver a retort like... "oh just you knew I'd drop in eventually..."
As before, you'll fall in love.
7. To break out of the enclosure/underground fortress I will disassemble the guard's gun and use the firing spring and gun powder from its bullets, along with your empty lipstick tube a dollar bill combined with rust I scraped off a nail to blow off the door hinges.
8. When you say "You could have just shot the god damned lock, now we're dead for sure" I'll say "I just thought I'd try to get more bang for my buck". While you've already fallen in love with me twice, the third time is said to be a charm.
9. Instead of running up the back stairs into a room full of guards playing ma jong or poker (depending on the continent and culture we're ridiculing this episode) I'll unscrew the water main that happens to be located in the basement, flooding it until we both float up fifteen feet and can escape through a ground level grated window (once again, we'll use the torch).
Some Bonuses:
-I love discussing current events and giving anecdotes garnered from my folksy background.
-I talk about mom and dad a lot... but no I don't live with them.
-I live in an observatory. Yeah. Or an apartment on the beach.
-I beat Steven Hawking at chess 11 out of 12 times. I threw the last game.
-I won't have to leave a razor at your house, I'll just use duct tape.
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